Christian Fajardo Fajardo itibaren Kimovka, Dnipropetrovsk Oblast, Ukrayna itibaren Kimovka, Dnipropetrovsk Oblast, Ukrayna

I think The Morning News is as good as anything on the Web. So a book of essays from the site and new essays from its writers can be expected to be a hit with me. For example, I already knew that: * Josh Allen's "Two Minutes and 42 Seconds in Heaven" is hilarious. * Daniel Nester's profile of Christian parody rock band ApologetiX is great. Here's what surprised me: * Matthew Baldwin's piece on spoilers. I already think it's totally unfair that someone who's a good programmer can also be a great writer and this is just more evidence. * Paul Ford's "Six-Word Reviews of 763 SXSW Mp3s" held up better than I expected. I thought rereading it--especially without being able to click to the music--would be pretty hollow but it's still a lot of fun. Still, I hope they don't give over 100 pages to it in the 2009 annual, if one is printed. * Lauren Frey's "Learning to Talk," which simultaneously describes how she got into radio and how she lost her voice. It's a perfect essay, fully worth the price of the entire volume. Especially since you can't find it anywhere else.

Alison Arngrim played Nellie Oleson on the Little House on the Prairie television series for seven years. In this hysterical and dramatic memoir, Arngrim describes her life from childhood till 2009. The household she grew up in was insane and terrifying. Her loving parents were both actors from Canada, her mother one of the most famous voiceover actors of all time: she played both Gumby and Casper the Friendly Ghost, among others. Her father was gay, and while it was not a secret in the marriage, Arngrim's parents lied to the children about it for years at the recommendation of psychologists. Arngrim found this incredibly confusing. Also in the Arngrim household was Alison's older brother Stefan, teen actor idol spanning the cover of every Teen Beat and Tiger magazine--and Alison's violent babysitter. At age 11, Arngrim joins the Prairie cast and her whole life is changed. She details what it was like to participate in the show, her interactions with cast and crew, filming many of her favorite episodes, and how the people on the show truly became her family. Arngrim also describes for the reader what it was like being America's favorite bitch: girls would literally kick her in the street for the role she played on television. After the show ends, Arngrim pursues stand-up comedy and some other roles, but never quite lands another ground-breaking role. Instead, her life takes a turn toward a humanitarian mission. In her last year on the show, her character marries Steve Tracy (Percival). In real life, Arngrim and Tracy form an intense bond and become the best of friends. Years later, Tracy is diagnosed with AIDS and this sets Arngrim off on a journey that becomes her life work. She spends her time trying to educate the public about AIDS. Arngrim realizes that her fame as Nellie can be used as a springboard for launching important information. She later becomes a proud proponent of childrens' rights and helps to change "exception" laws regarding incest in many states. Her battles are described lightly and with a note of entertainment, but are profound and deeply meaningful. "Confessions" is a quick, entertaining read and feels slightly trashy at times. Nonetheless, it is well-written and delves into a number of important and political topics while engaging your inner tabloid gossip. Arngrim says it perfectly herself: "I succeeded because I was Nellie--and that bitch sure could open doors." This book is deserving of a couple superlative awards: Favorite ancillary character: Gladys, the Little House hairdresser responsible for painfully attaching Nellie's wig each day and owner of a fantastic gold lame Schiapperelli swimsuit. About Gladys: "Gladys was single. Well, divorced. And widowed. And divorced. Her relationship history was sort of confusing. She had been married several times--"Not my fault!" she explained. But she still wore the various rings and wedding sets given to her by the various husbands." Most inappropriate gallows humor: "So this woman goes to a nutritionist and says, 'Can you help me? My son has leprosy, bubonic plague, and AIDS. Is there any diet that will help?' 'Leprosy, bubonic plague, and AIDS?' says the nutritionist. 'Let me see... Okay, we're going to start him on a diet of pizza and pancakes.' 'Pizza and pancakes?' asks the mother. How interesting! Will that help?' 'I don't know,' says the nutritionist, 'but it's the only thing we can slide under the door.'" Best description of Nellie by the tabloid media: "When she was good, she was very, very good. When she was bad, she was a cunt." Favorite laugh-out-loud scene: Arngrim calls her father to ask him to corroborate her story of childhood abuse so that she can share about it on Larry King Live. Her father is over-the-moon ecstatic that she is going to be on Larry King, finding it completely irrelevant that the reason is to talk about her history of repeated rapes. "Oh my God, this is fantastic. I have to call everyone and tell them to watch it... it's LARRY FUCKING KING! Oh my God! I'll invite everyone over... Oh, God... do I have time to cook No, wait, I'll call a caterer."